“Luis, Louis”
& the Ladbrokes Life
or
“Oh shit!
We’ve drawn Inter Pellation away in the play off... Where the fucks that?”
Many column
inches in betting and sporting journals have been devoted to Luis Suarez over
the past 18 months. An unbelievably talented footballer who astonishingly won
the Premier League Golden Boot at a canter having given the field a six game
start. Not enough was made of that, an incredible achievement.
As for the
other business, well disgraceful as it was, every panto needs a villain, and to
be honest, the controversy made a great World Cup even more memorable.
But, I
digress. I contend that punters who care about the pound in their pocket would be better
off considering the work of a different Louis; 20th Century critical
philosopher, Louis Althusser & his theory of Interpellation than 21st Century cannibal/genius Suarez.
I can see
you sneaking out, but please, bear with me.
Bearing?
Ok.
You may have
noticed Bookmakers have started advertising on the television recently, and it goes without saying that these 60 seconds or so of patronising drivel
should be ignored in precisely the same manner as adverts in their shop windows
(the day a high street bookmaker advertises the 2nd fav ew in an 8
runner novice chase with an 1/3 fav, it may be worth letting it cross your mind
that it’s a level playing field. Even then I would phone the course for non
runners). The thing is, as most of the adverts don’t actually advertise prices,
what are they up to? What are they selling? Well, they are in fact a more
subtle deception than the High St scorecast hoodwinks; a form of mind
control, designed to plant the seed that the bookmaker is already part of your lifestyle.
They try to show you that you are the kind of person who bets with them
as a matter of course, and more importantly, in the way they would like you to.
They work on the theory that to get someone to do what you want, you
have to make them think it was their idea in the first place.
Let’s look
at the common theme; unsophisticated “lads”. Paul Kaye’s wacky Maurice annoying Victor
Chandler, the ultimate geezer, bet365’s Ray Winston & most of all the working class loveable scallies living the Ladbrokes Life, are all perfect
examples of the dark forces of Interpellation at work.
Now I
consider myself way above making cheap jokes such as Inter Pellation sounding
like a team Hull might face in the Europa League prelims; I’ll leave that to lazy
populists. Suffice to say that I studied this boring nonsense so you don’t have
to... Althusser was a Marxist theorist. (Wake up at the
back!) He suggested that representatives of big organisations release
soundbites that prick the ears of the target audience, without appearing to
address them directly, similar to the way a dog whistle is only responded to by
creatures able to hear the noise. Once the target subconsciously recognizes himself
in the message, he is under the spell, and becomes a blank canvas upon which
the organisation can impose its ideology. It’s the oldest mind control trick in
the book, and is seen in advertising all the time. Rather than sell the
product on merit, the vendor leads you to believe that you are already the kind
of person that uses it. In this case, not so much selling a lifestyle, but
plonking themselves into the existing lifestyle of the people who wag their
tail and run towards to the high pitched call with their tongues hanging out.
An example
might be, I don’t know... a twenty something fella who enjoys a pint and a
punt, bit of a cheeky chap, likes a bird... knocks about with a group of like
minded blokes, albeit with different quirky characteristics?
Doesn’t mind
taking 10/3 when there’s 4/1 about? Maybe a nicker in an FOBT??
This applies
to thousands of young lads all over the country. There is even an option on
Ladbrokes website to choose which one of the motley crue you resemble most!
They really must think it is like taking candy from a baby
"Look into my eyes, the eyes, the eyes, not around the eyes..."
"Look into my eyes, the eyes, the eyes, not around the eyes..."
What you
should know is that the rascals depicted are the bookies wet dream, and the bookies behind these television adverts are not selling anything, but advertising for roles
to be filled in their idea of a soft porn film. They are looking for a bunch of
people who see themselves in the characters portrayed, to play the part of
someone who treats betting as a bit of a laugh that geezers do on the weekend like
other fun pastimes. Young lads who likes pubs, five a side, don’t take anything
too seriously, punt without taking best price/looking at Betfair first, chase
girls, like silly dance move, ie ALMOST ALL YOUNG LADS. In reality, I would
have thought the ultimate aim is to get them to march through the doors of shops
to throw money into the bookies pension by playing the FOBT’s, but they cant be advertised...
Yet.
If I had the
dough, I’d buy advertising space and
use it to air updated versions of the
anti smoking adverts from the 70s featuring Superman defeating the evil “Nick
O’Teen” to deter FOBT usageYet.
The bookie poses as your friend, but he is addicted to taking your money from the FIXED betting terminals while refusing genuine bets, just as poor old Nick was to inhaling poisonous smoke and preying on vulnerable children. IGNORE HIM!
Let us turn this on it’s head. Ever wondered why the characters in Bookmakers adverts aren’t bookish, pasty, bespectacled, excel spreadsheet types with untrendy haircuts? The type you don’t see in the pub with the lads at the weekend, chatting up women, and breakdancing after a few lager tops? This is because they’re at home in front of the computer waiting for team news/going changes so they can get an edge over the bookie, or working for them in trading rooms as odds compilers, laughing as the bad bets from the believers, the gut trusters, the optimists, in short, “the mugs”, in the adverts flow through on their liability screens. If you think this article acts as a killjoy and are already under the spell, I apologise, but do me a favour. At least try and be The Professor. You’ll be restricted to pennies before long, but at least you’ll have four mates with losing accounts to get you on...
and NEVER
play the FOBT’s
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