"You Don't Have To Be A Hypocritical Coward To Be A Bookmaker... But It Helps"

Picture the scene. A chain restaurant in a leafy suburb, around 8pm any weekday evening

Customer: "Thank you very much, lovely pizza... could I have the bill please?"
Waiter:"Of course, Sir"
Customer:"I've got one of those midweek meal deal vouchers here on my phone..."
Waiter: "Bear with me, Sir...."

<Waiter disappears>

<Waiter reappears>

Waiter: "I've spoken to the manager and he's told me to ask you to fuck off Sir"
Customer: "Eh?"
Waiter: "I'm sorry but you only come in when you can use a voucher, & as you don't spend much money on drinks, we're not making enough profit out of you. I'm sure you understand"

I can't imagine that happening, can you? Yet less than a week ago I was sat in the trading room of a bookmakers hearing almost exactly that conversation take place twice in a matter of minutes, and no one batted an eyelid. A punter phoned up to take advantage of a promotional offer, only to be tersely informed that it wasn't open to people like him as he only bets when there is an offer on, while another was given a rap on the knuckles for playing at best price.

"The rotters!"

What brought this back to mind was another gruesome advert for a betting firm on the television. As with the Ladbrokes life, this Coral offering (can't think of a word beginning with 'C' for alliteration purposes, and that technique is bit old hat anyway isn't it?) depicted a typical working class scene, and no odds for any sporting event were shown. This time it involved a lad ordering from a burger van, served by the kind of girl I would genuinely love to marry. I covered my thoughts on the thinking behind this approach in my last rant, but on this occasion something else got my goat. At the end of the piece, designed to encourage people to gamble money for amusement, the object of my affection piped up with "But please bet responsibly"... and steam came out of my ears.

"Whaaat?!"

Bookmakers do not want people to bet responsibly. As anyone with half a clue in the betting game is well aware, and as evidenced by the conversation in the trading room, people who take care and caution are actively discouraged from betting to the point of being prevented from placing a bet! Bookmakers love irresponsible gamblers, it's what pays their mortgage. It now appears they are forced by the government to put a meaningless disclaimer at the end of adverts to encourage "responsible betting".  It's the equivalent of legalising cocaine so long as the dealer leaves the pub saying "don't do it all at once!" 

It has to be the least sincere bit of bullshit I've heard since I split up with the ex.

Here's how it is. Every bookmaker nowadays uses the exchange as a guide to their prices. As I am only too well aware, odds compilers are 21st Century coal miners. The job doesn't exist anymore, the game has changed as all games do, and everyone must adapt. The exchange (I thought about using the plural here, but it's just one exchange) sets the odds while bookmakers employ software experts to create impressive, smooth running websites, & advertising companies to entice punters in with offers & propaganda. All it takes to run the trading side of things are one or two wise heads and a team of youngsters answering the phone or tracing the odds. If a horse is 2/1 on Betfair, a firm will go: 15/8 if they don't like it (this would be a daring maverick trader in 2014 bookmaking!) 7/4, if they haven't thought about it or 6/4 if they fancy it. There you are! I have just taught you the ancient art of odds compilation.

If there is no early underlying market, as is the case in more obscure events such as lower league football, smaller tennis and snooker tournaments or politics, either prices are quoted with a huff and a puff, & bets laid in tiny size if you're a loser, or no price is offered until "the machine" is liquid if you're a winner...

...or only just losing.

With markets that are liquid on the "leading betting exchanges", this is the deal.

A client phones up and asks to back a horse that is 7/4 on the exchange, but advertised at 2/1 with this bookmaker. The bet will be referred to a "trader", and accepted in tiny size, probably 10% of the requested amount, with the account being restricted in future or closed... ("trading decision" Euurgh!!) When the call is over the people in the trading room will adopt a "shit moustache" face & call the client scum, while desperately refreshing oddschecker to see if they can get on the selection with any other firm.

Another client phones up and asks for a horse that is 7/4 on the exchange, but advertised at 5/4 with this bookmaker, The bet will be accepted in whatever size the client asks for, a note will be placed on the account "Good punter, lay whatever he likes". The people in the trading room will feel smug, self satisfied, somehow think they have done a good job & call him a mug, laughingly refreshing oddschecker to point out where he could have got better odds.

One of these clients is taking care over his gambling, & making sure he is getting the best deal for himself by betting selectively, usually in the morning when thinking straight after putting a fair bit of research. Some might say "betting responsibly". His reward is to be discouraged and treated like dirt, with sarcasm, disdain and phone slams.

The other fellow is paying more for something than he ought to, and wasting money recklessly by not shopping around. Often betting in the evening from a noisy pub after putting away a fair few pints. I would say this is betting irresponsibly. Yet this guy gets silver service, receives invites to boxes at Cheltenham, Wembley or any other event it suits the Bookmaker to host.

Imagine a barman giving a lapsed alcoholic who has fallen off the wagon a free shot of tequila when they order their sixth pint, but refusing to serve a shandy drinker who only uses the pub when a two for one meal deal is on. This is the way bookmakers treat the problem & the careful gambler. One is actively encouraged while the other is refused the time of day... and they've got them the wrong way around.

If the government were serious about dealing with problem gamblers, they would look into the way the bookmakers treat the respective types of punters. Many of my friends simply cant get their heads around the idea that a big bookmaker would refuse a £100 bet at 10/1; they think there is a law against it! Well I wish there were, & maybe one day there will be. A petition has been going around for a while encouraging the bookmakers to take bets! Here it is, please sign

http://www.change.org/en-GB/petitions/paul-darling-chairman-association-of-british-bookmakers-we-call-on-the-chairman-of-the-abb-to-initiate-a-public-investigation-into-the-strategy-of-their-members-refusing-business-on-what-should-be-the-primary-activity-in-their-shops-betting


Alternatively, try this. Only bet with a bookmaker if the odds are better than Betfair, & see how long you last. If we all do it, they'll be bust before us.












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